Now we are all wishing on BBM and SMS

It was my birthday last week. I got multitudes of wishes via sms and bbm. However the calls came but only from my everyday friends and family members. There was a time you were woken up at seven in the morning with your first call and the calls didn’t end till late at night. People called you just that one day a year and were lost again for the rest of the year. Yet they reached out to you with a personal touch, ‘You heard their voices’. Now those once in a year calls has translated to an impersonal text message. They yet remember, hence the note. But we have all gone that one step back from that ‘personal touch’ in our relationships.

I yet got my midnight calls from my parents and siblings. Morning made way for my dear school friends with whom I hung out with everyday of my school life. After my school friends calls came from my best friends. They could be forgiven for calling so late, one has just had a baby and the other was not well. Then calls came from the aunts and the uncles who are yet not as tech savvy. However cousins and friends who were calling me up every year for birthdays and vice versa this time found it normal to just text in a note. I missed those phone calls. Didn’t know it was so important till it stops.

Someone once said if you can count your friends in one hand count yourself lucky. The advantage you have with this set up is you know your friends from your acquaintances. And every time the phone rang this year I had that extra count. Every call this year was indeed special and for the first time not being taken for granted.

At 2 and half

Risha is two and a half. She has started rattling nursery rhymes, choosing her clothes at home and at the store. She is easily bribed by her favorite chocolate Gems. She creates her own routine and tells me lets do this today. I give her a choice you want to go to the park or the club or to a friends place. She answers I want to go with this friend to so and so park.

We also love school as we get to play with other children. These are the days when the trend is parents with a single child in the majority. However the kids need their own peers so where the earlier generation would not want the holidays to end this one waits for school to reopen. All the kids were brimming with excitement first day of school. My daughter was all smiles she couldn’t wait to run in.

Another thing we mothers are constantly at a loss, “How do we entertain an only child 24×7 ?” We join classes, get them interested in isolated activities like painting, clay modeling, craft … I even joined a toy library which i definitely recommend. My daughter had three new toys every week and would change them again next week. In any case their attentive span on a toy is not more than a couple of minutes. Even going to and fro to the library becomes an activity.

Outdoor activity also has been number one on our list. Going to the park and playing with sand toys, swinging, sliding and throwing stones in the sea, watching the swans and the birds. Nothing like being connected to nature. When weather permits we also swim and at two and half we have already graduated to hand floats. Of course all this means you have to be a full time mama. Work from home preferably have your workstation in the same room as your child’s playroom. Why? Because they want to be in the same room as another person. You are there, yet not there. I write this blog while helping my daughter with her stickers. That is the way it is. That is the way it will be at least for a while.

Mama I lub you

My daughter is all of two now. The other day she came and hugged me from behind and was rambling something. I realised she is saying,’Mama I lub you.’ That was a moment. Now we don’t get enough of saying that to each other.

Our taste in television has evolved. From seeing “In the night garden”, in Cbeegies, we now love Dora, Boots and even Swiper. We dance on the “We did it” song, when Swiper comes on screen we say “Swiper no swiping”. We help Dora by saying ‘Map’ and ‘Backpack’ aloud. We like being called Mama’s Dora.

Being an only child in this family we just have to do other stuff to interact with more children. So we have recently started First Art an extra curriculum class that specially caters to this age group. I know she has had fun because the next day my daughter comes up to me and asks me, “Mom when are we going to Art class?”

Also child help is such a boon. I had a replacement for a week my daughter gave that woman a chance the first day and became friends with her. But the next day something happened and just wouldn’t accept her and was constantly unhappy. I got my life back when my regular person came back. Another mother once gave me a tip, “Observe how your child will greet the help when she enters the room if she is happy or smiles you know things are ok. However, if she is getting angry or agitated when she sees that person come in, you need to take stock of the situation.”

Children always have a way of communicating they will try and make you understand in their own language. Even when they cannot speak they speak through their eyes, their attitude. You just have to listen to them.

Playschool

My daughter all of 19 months had just started Playschool. The first day she went unsuspecting and happy another outing with her mother or so she thought. When I went to fetch her an hour later she was crying but then so were ALL of the children. Something of a chain reaction the teacher said.

The second day she saw the gate of the school and started crying. The third day she saw the lane of the school and started crying. I placed her bag and water bottle at the basket and she would just keep picking it up and giving it to me. Telling me in her own language, “Let us go.”

Mothers have to do what they have to do. Some of the other mothers stood outside the school for the duration the child was in. That itself was quite a group so you actually had all the mothers getting to know each other. That group would probably stay till their babies settle in and they too settle in.

Day four and five were pretty much the same, we cry when we realize we are going to school and we cry when we see our mothers come to fetch us. On day six, four students were actually segregated as they were the only ones who would not stop crying. My daughter was thankfully not one of them yet to all practical purposes as a parent I dropped her with what had become a pattern. We cry when we are dropped and picked up. The teacher however reassures all parents that the worst of the cranky lot also settle in a fortnight.

Thanks to the Mumbai rains the mothers had finally started going home or at least running for their errands and leaving that precious school gate. Once you do it then that habit of clinging to the gate while your baby is inside goes.

Finally my baby stopped crying on the 9-10th day so much so that I asked her teacher, ” Why is she not crying.” She replied, ” They cry you worry why are they crying, they do not cry you ask why she is not crying.”

It’s almost a month since she started her playschool and Risha now finally enjoys her sessions. The junk food that goes in her tiffin box adds to her joy, the biscuits, the cheeselings, the sponge cake, the pasta, all yummy yummy delights. She now wants to check out what she is getting for her snack time before we pack her tiffin. Once she walks in to class she goes to her fish tank or goes towards the toys. There are 30 students in her class which is great as she comes from an only child house. She loves all that to I think. What does go on in her mind what does she really think I can only imagine and piece things together. She yet speaks one word at a time. Waiting for her to start speaking sentences and expressing herself in the language we adults understand. Till then it is this mind and eye language that mama and baby must play.

Dadar Express and Khan

Last week two relevant things happened in Mumbai. One Rahul Gandhi travelled second class with the “aam aadmi” from Andheri to Dadar and in that one stroke won over the people. Second was the face off between Matoshri and Mannat.

Were the two incidents connected?

Was it just Sena after Khan or was Khan used as a symbol to show Delhi who hold the reins in aamchi Mumbai. Either way the public gave its verdict and gave MNIK a thums up not just in Mumbai but world over.

My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist. For those who have not seen it, see it. Am proud that that this movie has come out of my country. It is a human film and you see Khan as a person irrespective of which God he calls out to. Initially I thought why have two tracks that of a challenged person and the Khan issue. But later you realise you need a simple mind to tell you a simple fact. A simple person who can be honest and state a fact as it is and there is no ambiguity about it. Something that is so in front of you how could you have missed it. We are conditioned by the politics in our country that we fail to see things as it is. A simple fact a man with the gun is bad man and man without gun is good man then be it whatever caste, nationality does it matter.

It is only good karma and bad karma. Let not the act of a few people crucify the rest. We have to be with what is right and this time the people have used their intellect and have supported a worthy film irrespective of the terror of the Sainiks. This entire controversy has done much in moving the people in the right direction.

That one train ride has done to Mumbai what moderates were trying to do for decades.

Satnam

Earlier this week I went to a condolence prayer meet of a very dear Uncle of mine. There was a talk by the Brahma Kumari on life and death. She told a very simple story to put across her message.

There was a man who had three friends. One was Dhani Ram whom he met every day, the other was Mitra Ram whom he met once in a while, the third was Satnam whom he met once or twice a year.

This man got involved in a legal matter and was told that he needed someone to speak from his side at court and he would be let off. He said, “I have three friends one of them will surely come forward.”

He went to Dhani Ram whom he met everyday and put forth the request. Dhani Ram absolutely refused to come with him.

Next he went to Mitra Ram who said that he would accompany him to the court but would not go further than the gates.

Finally he went to Satnam. Now Satnam readily agreed but on the condition that he would speak only the truth.

The above are symbolic. Dhani Ram is your wealth, the fixed assets. That which we give attention to everyday but will not budge when we depart from here.

Mitra Ram are our family and friends, who will come with us to the crematory but for obvious reasons will not accompany us in our journey ahead.

Satnam is the only truth. It is that “Karma” good or bad that we will take with us.

This was a wonderful story and the person in question for whom this prayer meeting was held lived with that Karmic philosophy.

Lastly, there is a line from the movie, The Last Samurai, which I quote,

Emperor Meiji: Tell me how he died.
Algren: I will tell you how he lived.

The magic of Ranbir Kapoor

Caught up with two of Ranbir Kapoor movies this month Ajab Prem ki Ghazab Kahani and Wake up Sid.

In Wake up Sid the Konkana and Ranbir pair is an older woman, younger guy pairing. There Ranbir has come of age as an actor and Konkana convinces you with her sheer performance. Yet when they do get together in the last scene of the film they look mismatched.

Ranbir’s sequences with his mother was very good. Especially the scene where he comes to meet her and she talks in English and says if I learn English properly then maybe you will also be my friend and talk to me the way you talk to all your friends. That was perhaps one of the finest moments of the film.

Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani is a delightful movie. Comedy is always a little tougher than Drama. Ranbir comes out tops in this. The party sequence is hilarious. In that scene Katrina says, “Why are you dancing the dance has not started”. He says, “I am warming up” while he continues to talk to people, kick the competition, take a bite, all while doing a cross between an Elvis cum Shammi Kapoor mix. This is not the only scene there are so many such scenes throughout the film. Caught this at the theatre first day of release and the audience was hysterical.

Katrina and Ranbir look good together. One would have slotted her in the older category since she has come with the Khans and the Kumars. However not for one moment do they not look the same age which apparently they actually are.

Ranbir is more alive as Prem than as Sid. Prem is almost effortless. Prem is a very Andaz Apna Apna touch of Raj Kumar Santoshi. This is definitely Santoshi’s comeback film. And Ranbir finally proves he is the next superstar to watch out for.

Main Aur Mrs Khanna

From the three Diwali releases saw neither in the theatre this year. Tatasky was playing Main Aur Mrs Khanna this week in their Showcase section so immediately subscribed for it.

Was prepared for what was to come since the critics had done a good job of it. Any and every paper you picked up this past week had given a negative review. So when I actually saw this two hour movie it was bearable on the TV monitor. Have to add though it was easy for me to get up and about every time a song started. The songs are a huge disappointment, not a single one was watchable. The performances were lack luster and not a single scene stood out.

One could have worked on the basic plot but there is no hard work at the script level itself so naturally from there itself every department after that will fall flat. Why do we not take scripts more seriously? Why does the director have to be a writer? Writing is a specialized craft and when will some or rather most of our film makers realize this.

Such movies however can make money in the Pay per view and it will not be a losing proposition. More so since as a viewer I had the opportunity to see the movie in the first week of release without going to the theatre. Though one thing I would like to add I believe Pirates have managed to crack the code here and have copied videos from the Tatasky Showcase and are selling as well as renting out the same.

There are total seven actors in the entire movie. This could easily have been a stage play. The movie is a definite miss in the big screen and the movie deserves if we stretch it, half a star.

Socha Na Tha

Saw Love Aaj Kal recently I liked it. Socha Na Tha was coming on one of the channels and I just had to see more of this directors work.

Imtiaz Ali is coming out with his own pattern and style. He works on his love stories like it is happening next door. First Socha Na Tha, then Jab We Met and now Love Aaj Kal. Having viewed all three movies one can see his progression with each film.

Socha Na Tha has Abhay Deol and Ayesha Takia. Abhay Deol plays his part of the “Now what exactly do I want???” well. He is flamboyant and fun loving. Ayesha is lively and yet restrained. Together they are meant to be. Other actors playing the lead pairs respective families give able support. The director works on each relationship, the father son, the dewar bhabhi, the two brothers, the boy and his fiance, the boy and his fiance’s father, the girl and her benefactors, the girl and her cousins.

When he wants to run away, she does not want to, when she wants to run away, he has doubts. That bit is handled very well in the climax. And the entire scene makes you want to smile and believe in the madness of love.

Catch this film when you can.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Saw this on Sony this week. A delightful movie. Shahrukh Khan has done a fabulous job in essaying both Suri and Raj. What is refreshing is that when he changes from Suri to Raj he does not transform completely but only changes the look, his persona is the same from within. The audience can sense that. It is not a complete change like Hrithik’s character in Koi Mil Gaya.

Debutant Anushka Sharma does well. She fits the role of Taani. Her climax scene when she tells Raj that she sees Rab in Suri is very good. That one scene shows the potential this young actress has.

Writer director Aditya Chopra comes with a very simple heartwarming script. He brings his characters to life in a very identifiable manner. He should direct more often. His edit pattern in the climax dance is noteworthy.

The only thing Adi needs to work on are his sets and locales. Sets look like sets and the locales are the same, the very Yash Chopra look of, ‘Sarson ke khet’.

A must see film. Gets a 3 and half out of 5.